Daft of Questions and answers for double page spread

Adam Hilton with
Liam Caly
The Manchester born man wants to create his own smell and admits to having verbal diarrhoea
Hello Liam. I realise you are abroad because I am with you but why is this?
“Today’s my day of promoting my solo career in the Swiss, as not many people around here have heard of me. I don’t know why.”
It’s the solo artist they have all been waiting for...
“Yes of course, as well as the new range of fragrances.”
What would your fragrances smell of?
“Caly’s Musk. It would be a mixture of fruits and spices. Maybe I should make it the first drinkable fragrance.”
I had drank some Brut once at a Christmas do. Whenever I opened my mouth you could smell it. So I spent the rest of the evening feeling the need to explain to people that I was not wearing Brut, but had merely drank some.
“Don’t try to link that story back to my music.”
Well, the thing that would prevent me linking this back to your music is the fact that there is no pleasant surprise on listening to your music.
“Ooh. Ooh, that hurt. I served that up on a plate, though. It’s probably too obviously to print, though, so I suppose you won’t, will you?”
No joke has ever been to obvious for this column.
“So I have noticed. Do you actually have questions written down?”
No.
“No, I didn’t think so”
Well the thing is, Liam, when I interviewed you previously, I didn’t write any questions down, and yes that was amateurish and irresponsible but the results were incredible, so this time the lack of questions is deliberate.
“A lot of people conduct interviews but don’t care about the answers.”

My problem, Liam, is that I care too much. I CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT YOU LIAM.
“I am well aware that there is thinly disguised contempt from many journalists when it is quite obvious they got into the business because of their love for Liam Gallagher, but now they ask X-Factor contestants what is there favourite make-up. (Silence) It’s your turn to speak.”
I was trying the old journalistic trick of ‘leaving a pause so the pop star feels the need to fill it, which usually gets them to blurt out an amazing or hilarious truth’.
“That terrifies me. I’m trying not to emit any foul slurs but it’s hard.”
It is interesting that you are terrified of silence. Did you have an unpleasant experience with quietness as a youngster?
“Well of course. I always fill silence. It’s verbal diarrhoea, I suppose.”
So this obsession with needing to fill silence with some sort of sound, does that explain your musical career?
“Let me do that question justice. (Long pause) No, not really.”
What are you hiding then?
“Like most people in this game, an obvious lack of talent.”
Most musicians have that sort og panic quite frequently, ’am I good enough, am i just getting away with it, when will i be caught out?’ But it must be particularly acute for you Liam.
“You have NO idea.”